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8X10 print on 100lb heavyweight white card stock made from 100% post consumer recycled paper.

Depression for me, is gray. An emotional grayness that promises nothing but the same old shit. Change (for the better) isn’t an option, so hope is painful, and most of all, anything beautiful I am capable of creating is immediately dumped into a cosmic trash can, a vacuum for potential - it never existed at all. Oh, and all of this is forever.

“That is not the way the world is.”

My therapist said that to me, gently. A week later, a psychiatrist said the same thing.

“This gray world you are describing? That’s not the way the world is.”

Depression is the biggest liar I’ve ever met. Sometimes I feel like it’s stealing my life from me. Sometimes I feel like I’m making it all up because…I’m bored or something? I’m lazy and it’s a convenient excuse.My therapist compared it to hunger: if you are starving, all you can think about is food. Everything in your body is focused on that. Your brain, she explained, is starving.

I created this painting as a reminder for me, and for anyone who can relate to all this. The gray might always come around. But it’s not the whole world, not by a long shot. And it’s definitely not forever.There is a better, brighter, more interesting world available. It’ll come around.